It's funny that once you're back, all you could think about are the contradictions. One day you are driving in the open road, with fabulous views of the mountain on the left and vast lake on the right and before you know it, you are stucked in a non moving traffic which is the equivalent of a massive carpark.
And then you are stuck back in the same room with no view and thinking to yourself how long do you have to do this? Is it worth it anymore and of course the answer is no. But there's just so much to do and in order not to sound ungrateful you just get the week over and done with and then look forward to soaking in the sun over the weekend. What else can one do anyway? I know for myself, I need to weather through this year with so many plans albeit hanging in the air for next.
Then out of nowhere I find myself wanting something. Yes at 30-something there is still something that you wish you have and I realised that it's been so long but I miss the feeling of touching another person. Being touched. Being wanted. I am not talking about sex, it's just a little deeper than that. You know what I mean. Oh God, it's been so long and I haven't really feel it but I am missing it.
I miss it very much indeed.