Mindful

Many have and are looking back to last year in retrospective and systematically resolved to either get thinner in days to come or some determined to do something for the betterment of themselves, all in all to kickstart the new calendar with something positive. While it's not entirely wrong, many have given up the notion of trying to be something that they are not or something that they will never achieve.

I admit that I for one is never the type that comes out with a to do list for every 12 months and I doubt myself very much that it will be followed religiously. If it's something that we know we should do and are capable of doing, it would have been done already - effortlessly. It's all in the mind - just like smoking. I can say that I can give it up just like that. Quit cold turkey but at the end of the day the question is not if I can or cannot quit but rather if I want to. And the truth is, I have grown really attached to the little green box and morning coughs.

But remembering the advice given by my ex boss, being an account servicing person is very much being a human being. How you manage your work is a reflection on how you manage your life and truth to be told, my life while not exactly in a mess, it is hardly in order. Perhaps I should apply a lil bit of advertising/working order into my life - for one, try to set some goals in life. It's not too different from resolution isn't it? There would be a list, some format of measurement and a timeframe of when things will happen but wait a minute, is life an applied format at all?

I do acknowledge the fact that I have many issues and management problems with my life and hopefully I can get down to resolving them soon. Of late, it's affecting my work performance - I am blaming it on the holiday mood. My mind refused to work, my thoughts are empty and I spent my days reading (till I am dead tired) and then sleep. Then go to work (forget whatever that happened between 9 to 5) and then rush home for another routine - all in all looking forward to weekend and then what? Go out, hang out, drinks and all that.

Perhaps things will get better and they normally do - but for today, I am just pushing that thought and many other things till tomorrow. There's always a tomorrow isn't it? That's the good thing about being young. But to start it all off, I must start seeing life as not a burden or disease but instead of gift - something to be enjoyed, the good and the bad of it. At worst, just laugh at it.

I really have to move. Get on with the program. Start with getting the antique computer fix or something so that I can pretend to write deep and thoughtful things. Start with not going out late at night. Just start somewhere, dammit.