Monday, December 18, 2006

Big Plans

As I sat there thinking about the conversations which I had of late with a few of my friends and of course Cookie in particular, I couldn't help but think of what would I be doing for my holidays. Sure, I have been forewarned by friends to come up with spmething, as most of us are still living with our lovely parents who spoils and dot on us, any blueprint for a drunken orgy is definitely off the itinery. There were complaints over the years that Christmas come and Christmas gone, we have done nothing and things has started to become rather tiresome.

For me at least, I felt it was really funny to have the need to fill up everything with things and so called plans. Supposedly anything is better than sitting at home. But since when sitting at home is not plan and where do one feel the need to make it sound all that bad? I suppose in a world which we can't control, having some of that over whatever that we can is good, and hence plan to do this. Plan to do that seems to be the little things that we can do to rest assure ourselves that, yes we can still have control and perhaps feel a little comfort that we could take to bed knowing full well that we live in an uncertain world.

I have learnt from experience as I have been a very uptight person myself that the more you plan, the more dissapointed you get. I made plans. Need to do this and that and list everything down in perfect order. But then as you grow older, you learn that you can't control anything at all. You can't control how people view you, you can't control how much you earn and you certain cannot control love. When you are left powerless, why not totally let go and my favourite way of dealing with things - go with the flow even if you are most likely wind up being at home.

Sure, by saying that makes me sound like a pitiful young man but really, it was everything but. I confessed that I have not many friends (as Cookie choicefully pointed that out, thank you very much) but I know what little I have, it's good. Quality over quantity. I know I can trust them, rely on them and love them, just as much as they love me. And certainly, home is not such a gruesome place to be. I longed to be home when I can be myself and just do nothing. It could be spending time with a book or two, tending my plants, or just lazing out with the telly...or even some writing. The season does bring out the little feeling of lonely inside everyone but really, is Christmas all about going to parties, hanging out here and there or losing yourself at a club?

How sad but true that perhaps 99.9% of people who celebrate it know not of the reason for celebration at the first place. Sure, they might know it was to remember that someone given to mankind out of love nearly 2000 years ago and the whole three wiseman/king story but what is the significant of all that? It was all about the promise of hope. It was God's plan for us for redemption in the form of flesh. This is the same flesh which would be sacrificed one day for our salvation but I suppose that could be saved for Easter writing. But knowing that everything is and already planned out, who are we to worry? Everything will come to a pass.

I have always believe in let tomorrow worry about tomorrow as written in the scripture and if one were to believe in the scripture, nothing in the world would last forever. So let's not take it all too seriously. Just live for the moment and I think life would be happier and simplier that way. Oh, don't forget it's also time to remember and be thankful for what we have, after year ago as I could still remember, I resigned. It was a struggle and I prayed for a miracle and I am still living that miracle today.

I am really thankful for all that I have and for all that I don't and never will have. After all, it's all in God's will and plan.


Las montañas said...

very inspiring. why do we plan so far ahead when we don't even know what will come tomorrow.

enjoy the year end season. If you have crowd phobia like me, head out to genting (or any of your fav hill stations) and chill out there with a good buddy or some friends. the fresh air with positive ions can do wonders for a tired body.

savante said...

Glad to know Christmas is still time for silent contemplation for some. Have a blessed Christmas.

Derek said...

Well, I like to plan things and I still do. It's not because I like to be in control, it's more like not wasting time. If I know I gotta be somewhere at a certain time, it makes my life so much easier to plan things before and after that.

And I don't like the feeling of not knowing what is going to happen next! ;P

thompsonboy said...

but we always know what's going to happen next? Like a Malay's saying, something like you can plan but God's the one who make the decision.

William said...

The actor's from TV3's "Realiti" right? The make-believe "Malaysian Idol" contestant that has a boyfriend. Only saw the ad once. "He's so lucky".

Wow, very spiritual now aren't we? The whole Messianic promise thingy and the sacrifical Lamb. The world is fleeting yes, but our souls are weighed the day we die and that measure is eternal. Depends on how "vigilant" we can be...

This one? "Insyallah. Kita hanya mampu merancang, Tuhan yang menentukan..."