Saturday, March 03, 2012

the look of gay

I remembered talking about this for many times now and it doesn't seem to get old. The thing that is getting old is me and with more experience, my views on it changed or rather become richer. When you're young, it's easy to be influenced by what is so called cool and it's not hard being cool just as long as you got the money for it.

But then as you go along, you realised that everyone is donning the same thing and before you know it, you look just like anyone else. I know don't where the cool factor comes from because it seems like I am looking just like everyone else so I guess it's more to do with fitting in than standing out.

Then along come gaydom and before you know it, the tight tees and shit are all in. Heck, they even have a haircut for it and yet again, it's all mass production with everyone looking the same, the same sleevless shirt and the same place they go for their cut and shit. It's all rather limiting isn't it? This is not to say that I don't fall into certain group or stereotypes when it comes to style (mine is probably more like no style) but I do know and think that I fall into any of the category that befits the Malaysian gay men.

This is of course after some twentysomething telling me that if I spruce up a little perhaps I can fit in better and perhaps find someone? He's not entirely wrong. I used to think that finding a person is alot to do with effort. The effort to put yourself out there, the effort to keep in touch, the effort to look that part so that people will like you. It's not cheating, just being the best version of yourself. Even male animals groom themselves proper for courtship, so it's not wrong.

So going back to me (yes, it's always about me), I think time after time of experimenting and being comfortable in my own skin, I know which category that I falls into and I am okay with it even though it's hardly the most popular. It befits my character and doesn't hurt anyone or my career. It's really me being me. I know of people esp being in the creative industry that some people try really hard to be something else and I know of people who are just being themselves, even though not in designer gear and smoking pipe but rather with crumpled shirt and worn to death shorts, they are just being themselves and that to me is style and being true to themselves.

One day, when I grow up I wish I could be just like Philip Crangi.

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