Tuesday, January 31, 2012

It shouldn't be so hard and I shouldn't try so hard

Couple of months back, I think easily 6 or so when I was looking through my old emails and mind you the archive went back as far as 10-12 years ago and I was having abit of laugh with my friends over the silly chain mails we used to send to each another talking about everything and nothing. Back in the days, before blogging there were something called writing emails (abit like e-pen pal) and I took that as a form of ranting and expression.

So then there were a few fellas that I used to write to but of course like everything else it died down. I found a particular email from a guy who was studying law in the UK - we corresponded during the days when I just started out as a struggling web designer and somehow we lost the interest to write to each another. This is understandable considering that we were at very different paths of our life, with me desperately to make it in the world and him trying to make sense of studying life. I thought it would be nice to somehow reconnect back after all these years. Easily 7 years ago. I mean what are the chances - people change emails all the time.

What I didn't expect was him replying back to me telling me that he is back and practising in Malaysia and that we should meet up for drinks, for old time sake. Me being the lousy person that I am casually agreed but never follow up on it considering that I was busy at that time and promised to get back to him after my long holiday trip. Fast forward to the last week of December, he sent me another email in his last ditch to reconnect and wished me happy holidays. For those who followed my blog, I had a lousy end to the year and I took this as almost like a serendipity and finally shared my number with him, it is after all easier to keep in touch that way.

And almost immediately, he texted me and we sort of texted each another quite abit for nearly a week which I have to admit was nice. I even seek him out on Facebook and like everything else in the world these days, most people are either one or two degrees of separation away and he was on the scale of one.

Just as fast as it started, it died down when he was caught with work. Now I know lawyers and their files and when they are busy working. It can go on for weeks and through the weekends I've decided it's best not to disturb. After all, he is a junior lawyer trying to close his file before the Chinese New Year holidays and I gotta respect a hardworking fella. So then I tried to reconnect again during the new year holidays and it wasn't the same. It felt like every time I tried, it's almost like I am intruding or unwelcomed. But I brushed it off as being overly sensitive.

After I returned from my trip, I tried again, he was slighty friendlier, promising to meet up again one of these days but alas caught up again with another file and I tried to leave him alone to it.

The truth is, it's not like I am into him, being someone I hardly know but it would be nice to finally meet up with him after all these years. He seems like a nice regular joe and you don't get many of that these days. I mean I just want to get to know him.

But there's just so much I can do before I run out of ideas, I mean like he gotta work with me here and give me something to work on. I just think that while the initial bit was cute, the whole thing shouldn't be so hard and I shouldn't try so hard. So, thats it from me.

Maybe some things are better left in the past. But if I've never tried, I wouldn't know. I guess now, I will never know.


1 comment:

William said...

Sometimes, the stars just don't align for a simple meet-up.