So I am back. It was tough. It was nice. It was bad. It was good. It was fun. It was scary. It was tiring. It was refreshing.
In many ways, if I went for a hard skills type of training I would probably feel a lot of less. The soft skills always go deep into you. It was necessary to be away. Away from it all.
Alot of amazing shit. Not bad shit that mess with your head but rather, alot of positive thing. Amazing self discovery. But my AHA moment came when I realised that despite me saying that I am a happy person - I wasn't. It was all saying. Sure I am better than your most self depreciating and moody gays but I am just slighty better. But instead of always comparing myself and thinking that I am ok, I am abit better but maybe it's time to look at it from the point that I am still far from being one.
No wonder people don't really buy it. Alot of things that I find frustrating about myself is that people don't know me and that is because I am not coming across to them as happy or whatever I think I am. Sure, bitchiness and all those things are cute but really, are they?
So I am going to stop saying them. And be it. For once. Let's try.