The state that I am in

You know, people have many reasons to write. Some did it to express themselves, some did it because they are free and some just to find an escape even for a few minutes from the state that they were in. I wrote because of all the mentioned reasons and then more. But lately, I am neither any of the above. Sure, the people who have popular blogs have a day job just like anybody else and still manages to update them so what makes me busier or greater than them just because of my fabulous advertising job? Or how about escapism? I cannot sit here and say that everything is fabulous as no one in this world can claim that they are 100% perfect and happy that little things like shopping or bag addiction don’t even exist.

So what can I say then? I might be able to start off by complaining and asking why people leave a place that they are happy with for reasons and believe me that there are always reasons and for a place that doesn’t seem to be appealing at the first place. I mean if you are used to coming in and going out anytime you want, wearing whatever that pleases you and were in an environment where it’s so sociable as much as fun and hardwork, would you trade it for a mundane and almost inhospitable place just to earn a few buck? But I wouldn’t want to go into that because it’s just life and life has many unfair share of it to be passed around and so long as the end of the day, people are happy that they think they are going to be a happier place or pretend to be happy then it’s no issue.

Or how about discussing my question over my own survival whereby I am still not making any sense and cents into how my money are spent, yet I am consistently gaining more of them yet with less savings in the bank. I have no property which my name is attached to other than those financed by someone else other than myself and when I look at people whom we in the industry and my portfolio in particular like to categorize as migrant (as if a migrant is a bracket, a term and not a person), it just amazes me how strong and brave these people are to come to a strange country and to live without any luxuries and amenities and most of to be treated and looked upon as second class, what kind of life would that be? What if I am to be put in that place? Would I survive? Perhaps it is the same life situation that is the hindrance to my success as any one else’s for that matter as I was having this discussion over a few drinks about how an average person would never be rich because they are not forced to. They have small comfort that they will lose. Poor man has nothing to lose and pushed to a corner, we can do many amazing things which are why almost all rich man started off being poor unless they gained inheritance somewhere or discover oil.

But then I am not strong and wouldn’t want to even imagine a second in their place and don’t even want to tune in or read any news these days that are either on the front half (rubbish fight over some rock on the sea or talks about changes but never see the daylight) or the world news (killings, people dying, natural disaster). There are so many things going on that one will never run out of topic to write, ponder or even spend time with. But of all those things that are going, I choose to be nonchalant. Not because I am heartless but because I have discovered that I can shut them off just like that during some training that I went to last year. I am still emotional if you think that I am claiming not to be but more on the anger part more than anything else. But yes, nonchalant about things that are happening, bad especially and nonchalant about things that might happen in the future (just as bleak). I think that’s the way to keep happy and keep strong in times when everything is bad and requires your attention and your pondering which will eventually lead you to even more sad discoveries. Nonchalant.

And why shouldn’t I be? I am still here and doing everything that my heart desires and more. Going to bed at night is so much easier that way.