You know how I want to just think about everything except for that certain four letter? Sometimes it just escapes me when I look around and see some either good looking guys or really nice people and can’t help thinking about the shoulda, woulda, coulda.
I admit I am human too with needs occasionally to be hold and embraced as much as it is hard to believe. No exotic leather or patent print can replace the warmth of the human touch even though the classic bag would probably last longer than a relationship with one. I guess that’s alright because if the lifespan and excitement are the same as the latest ‘It’ bag then who am I to complain? There’s always some new stock to come and divert your attention away.
Just like window shopping, I can’t help knowing some people or looking at them and half wishing for them to be mine. I know it’s crazy because I don’t even know them and yet here I am lusting over the illusion that I’ve created in mind on how good they would be for me and vice versa if only they given me their time and just to get to know. Very much like a Chanel bag which I will go crazy after and for a moment imagine how great it would be on my arms if only I could afford it or have the courage to just swipe the card and not think about tomorrow.
It’s like how I wished I have the will to just talk to them and make the first move, as much as you want to pride yourself as not being the one who make the first move, some guys are just to irresistible for you to let go. Cookie however adopts a different theory whereby given himself in circumstances such as that, he would never make the first move and if the other party doesn’t budge then it’s just not meant to be.
But sometimes even if you made the first move, it doesn’t guarantee any respond or success at all and that only contribute to bruising your own confidence and emotion. At least I will know the answer rather than pining for the “what could have happened” scenario but again there was plenty of those because for some certain unexplained reasons, these chances went away without any explanation and you are just left there sometimes thinking about how unfinished or unwritten those story were and if only…if only.
I promised myself that at this age, I shouldn’t leave myself standing there wondering and would take any chances in pursuing happiness like how I pursue all the belts and bags and career in my life but somehow I’ve learnt that there’s just something that you can’t gain or work on no matter how hard you try or whatever you do. Well, I know that while I am working on whatever I have there, I am sure there will be some good catch that slips away…like the poppy leather tote from Marc Jacobs. But if there’s such thing as destiny (how I would laugh at the work) then who knows? Mr Right and Chanel might just be two skip and a hop away or never.