Falling into the pattern

One thing that I’ve learnt over the past few weeks is that I have absolutely no self control whatsoever. My indulgence or rather my passion for certain things in life could really consume me and thankfully not all of them are hazardous. Then again, the fire from the same passion is also my saving grace – work.

Work that consumes you and take your mind and body away from every other thing in life. Work that satisfies you in many ways that no other can or does it in a healthy way. While contrary to last year whereby I have took the last two weeks of the year off, this year I have only managed two days. But on both occasion I was present at work so that didn’t really count for anything. However there was mini gaps in between and I somehow managed to think and indulge too much.

Take for example of my indulgence in spending/shopping too much – it’s no secret anymore that I am quite a shopaholic and true to the tag, I went ahead and blown the credit over this little baby.

I actually went into the shop just wanting to browse and without even planning I just take a look at the bag and went out of the shop much much more poorer. And that is just a tip of the iceberg as everyone I know has been blowing their credit off the roots by literally buying into the commercial activities surrounding the festivity. There’s tons of Christmas presents (guilty as charged), partying/drinking/smoking (yes, yes,yes), food and such (guilty guilty little piggy). I mean it was just beginning of this year that I’ve told myself to stop this nonsense after the Paul Smith bag but then before I knew it there was the Coach stuff, Marc Jacobs craze and occasional Gucci and now this. It’s official – I have no self control.

If thinking about all these things are consuming me then a cigarette or two will always help to ease my mind till next month’s bill arrive but then those are just yet another unhealthy escapade. Add that to the fact that I have been sleeping late and waking up the same way as well which means arriving work slightly later than . Next indulgence which I am guilty as charged - catching up all over again on Sex and the City which my girls gave me for Christmas which apparently was my birthday present as well.

Perhaps all this has nothing to do with Christmas or shopping or DVD marathons, maybe I am just I realized that nothing much has change. I am still as moody of a cow, penniless at the end of the day, sleep late, wake up late and not any better than I am used to. Perhaps it's just the new year that got me thinking about how soon I will turn 27 and nothing much has changed at all. Rewind back 5-6 years ago, I spend as much and waste as much time thinking about a whole lot of nothing. What has changed? Am I any better than I started or worst because right now I am all clouded by things that are moving so fast that I can't even stop to think. Perhaps the thinking is the the one thing that is killing me. I need to get back to my old pattern.

Not the one from college days but rather the one before all these holiday mood. Please give me back my working pattern.