Eeeeeeeeeeemotions

First off, a bit of sorry for not updating me blog but as usual what else taking over me other than work and a little bit of emotions. In terms of work it was due to the fact that my immediate boss wasn’t around for a few days and I have to take over quite a heavy load which was fuelled by some up and coming campaigns. On the emo side, well we will go to that soon enough.

Speaking of which, I had a conversation with K (immediate boss) and she was like complaining about how absolutely passé it was to do the emotional cum Yasmin Ahmad cum Petronas kind of commercials these days and everyone is trying to be a carbon copy. While copying has never been trendy I do think that emotions are something that stands the test of time. How else would you explain the behaviors that I witnessed the other day during my sister’s convocation?

There’s Exhibit One – those who buys tons of flowers and brings 3 types of camera just so that they won’t miss their precious taking his or her first step on the stage and then there’s Exhibit Two – those that bring in the whole clan ranging from the great grand to the nieces, yee mah and etc etc. How about Exhibit Three – those who spend hard earned money on cringe worthy studio photos that always seems to feature fake bookcase when naturally taken pictures are so much better and never will be dated? I have to confess that me mum fell into one or two more categories (though during my convocation, I absolutely banned flowers and studio photos)

While I cringed at some fathers blocking my day because they are so busy video capturing their precious, I told myself that I would never understand how they feel. I think these are one of those few moments that parents look forward to see in their lifetime – from the infant first steps to their graduation and then finally setting their own family. All of them probably toiled hard enough to send their kids to school and I wouldn’t be the one to rob them out of this honor hence I just pursed my lips and suffered in silence and understanding. There was certainly plenty of love and emotions.

Another thing that kinda puzzles me would be why are people so obsessed about taking pictures? Again I told myself that these are one of those few important moments in everybody’s lives so capturing them in essence forever is crucial but somehow I couldn’t help but to think isn’t it better to savour the moment and enjoy it rather than spending half the time looking for people, finding the right place and pose and etc etc or even the fundamentals – thank your parent for what they have given. Then again, we are Asians. We don’t hug. Or kiss. I guess if this way works, so be it. I guess that was the good bit of the story.

Now the bad bit, I wouldn’t call it bad but I think that I had some emo moments during my last week’s stint and I couldn’t help it (again) to feel just a teeny weeny bit of down. You know the usual suspects why a perfectly smart, career oriented, funny and nice gay man would be unhappy about – man. Everyone would know that I don’t think about them all the time and in fact I avoid that subject and talks in arm length but I discovered something really scary – I am attracted to bastards.

When I started this job, my friends immediately asked if there was cute guys and etc etc. And the truth is, there were some and there was this one in particular that strikes me. To cut the long story short and not revealing too much – he was the thinking creative type, clean cut and presentable but later on I found out what kind person he is. So that proves my theory that I am basically screwed. I was feeling a little bit low on the self esteem department and now this. Maybe there was nothing wrong with my self esteem or how I look. Is it just the guys that I am attracted to who are overly sensitive and care too much for what’s on the outside? I don’t know. Whatever. What I do know is that I am very happy to find out Cookie has started to meet new people. I know me, well at giving advice but applying none for myself. It’s like the saying that carpenter’s wives go barefoot and doctor’s wives die young. But I do think it’s a good start for him. Go out, have fun. Make some friends.

Anyway, that’s that. One should not entertain the devil inside. There is no time for emo-ness anyway.


One can just hope perhaps with enough money, you can buy true love just like Marc Jacobs and his rent boy turned bf.