Don’t want to talk about it

There has been a few occasion in the past week whereby I had some thoughts in my mind either to bitch about this and that or just occasional comments on everything that happened but nothing materialized. Yes, I am unhappy over a few things of late and I seemed to have lost my groove. Lost my interest with everything. Just plain lost it completely. Nothing interests me more than going home and sleep. That’s all that I care. I find myself eating and not exercising. And it felt good. And day in day out, I am looking forward to Friday night and that’s all. Nothing else.

I used to be able to just talk things through, everything just comes out in words or with my friends and then I find myself feeling all happy and okay with things but it’s just different this time. I feel better not thinking about it. Feel happier just to wait. Wait for the storm to be over. I know I am not the emotional kind whereby stupidity and random acts follow so there’s no danger of me dwelling in my so called down moment.

I just don’t know how long is down moment will last. I don’t like it and I don’t think it’s me but I can’t help it. Perhaps someone was right when he told me that we all tend to act happy and sweep everything under the carpet – all the unhappiness and also things that actually keeps your mind awake at night. All the issues which I believe everyone has and needs to settle but for me, I choose to ignore them and move forward. Maybe that’s the problem – not facing up to the problems and they came back to haunt me.

Well I guess I am sorry to say that I am not the strong kind. I feel happier with my drinks and that’s what I did yesterday. A nice night out talking about nothing with fab drinks. Oh how I wished I can afford more of those. It certainly helped. Gets you warmed up, dizzy to say the least and straight right into bed. Perfect.
I think Fei Mui summed it best when he was feeling a little down and just said – I don’t want to talk about it.

Comments

ENVY said…
i think its somehting in the air...im down too!

come lets hug:)

nv
11:44 PM
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