Sunday, March 11, 2007

What do we really want?

There was a time when my colleagues were gossiping over this silly show called What Woman Wants during lunch and since I rarely catch free to air stations’ show, I didn’t have much to say. But that did not stop me from knowing the trend of so-called reality shows that have been hitting our local production – you have everything from talent *cough*cough* shows to home makeover and now love and sex. I did however managed to stir some conversation by asking – are those guys what real women want? In union they all said no. I saw the two finalist which was featured on a newspaper article, didn’t bother to read because I knew at once that they are not what REAL women want.

I have always believe that most women are contented to find someone whom they can rely on, someone to protect them even though they don’t really need the protection, someone they can talk to and someone that will lie when asked if their ass looked big in this or that jeans. It was that simple. But of late, I realized there is more to that as I put together a few things that I have observed lately. One – from the Yahoo! Answers section, most women don’t like their man in any types of underwear other than loose boxers. In contrast to the gay men who replied – most of them wants their beef cakes in every type of underwear as long as it highlights package. It is as though these women are afraid to see and even acknowledge that men have penises. Second, my mum was just commenting that these days the guys on TV series (mostly Korean of course) are getting prettier. The word is pretty as in girl like. I casually told her that most young girls love that look these days, hence the long hair and overly passive nature of the leading men. They all seem to be very sensitive, romantic, wear pink and can play the piano. I also remembered there was many poll and article that I read of whereby most women like their men to be clean shaven and also with most minimal hair as possible. Chest hair is a no no.

At the end of the day – what do you end up with? A man or actually a woman with penis? It’s no wonder that butch dykes are doing very well in the relationship department. They have everything that women would love in their partner – sensitivity and understanding of a woman, the rough looks of a man, no body hair and no penis. Perfect relationship other than they can’t give them children.

If what a woman really want is another woman, what is left of the men? Are they going to evolve? But a bigger question that I have is to begin with, what makes a man?. Is virility a measurement? How about their abilities not to do things that are considered gay? You know I have often think about the whole issue of straight acting and all these macho mambo jambo. Personally it has always been an issue that I have grown up struggling with. Being gay means that you are different in more ways then one and being different could be problem when you are in high school. But at 26, I think I have came to terms to who I really am.

I am a man. Do I act? No. Would I fall under the category of straight acting? Definitely no because one I hate that phrase straight acting because we are not straight hence why is there a need to act? I think what they want to say is that they are not effeminate. I believe that I am neither here nor there but then again I don’t spend time thinking which category I should be ticking. But does that make me any less of man? Sure, I color coordinate my clothes and love a good manicure but plenty of guys love doing that these days – straight or otherwise. Then again, my sexuality was questioned because I refused to watch Dreamgirls with my gay sisters. I think there’s a line between gay or just plain rubbish gay. While I like many things that a gay man would like – the Kylies and the Madonnas, I certainly can’t stand things like American Idol or gym. So what does that make me at the end of the day?

There was this guy that I met once who told me that he thinks that he couldn’t get a boyfriend because he was worried about what others will think. He elaborated that if your neighbour sees you coming home frequently with this or that guy – they would suspect something. If you friends catch you going out with your boyfriend, they will start to question things. He needs to upkeep his image as a manly heterosexual you see. Which is abit funny because I think he is doing exactly what he afraid of – being the biggest sissy. Now I understand that no many people are as lucky as me to be able to be out at work but this guy is taking things to the extreme. By worrying about what other thinks and denying his own desires and wants. Apparently he thinks I wasn’t manly enough to befriend him. You know I have came out to everyone since I was 17. I came out to people at work and couldn’t remember a day when I was in the closet. I do what I want, wear what I want and don’t spend time worrying about what others will think of me.

So who is the bigger man? Someone who needs to hide and worry about what others will make of him or someone who have the courage to admit that look, I love penises more than pussy and I love wearing that tight pink t-shirt because I look good in it. But having said all that, I don’t think I am a bigger or less of a man that anybody else. At the end of the day, man or woman – the fundamental is just to be a good person. Everyone hopes for someone who is kind, just, humble and brave and that alone is hard enough to accomplish without wasting time to think if one is man or woman enough.


savante said...

Damn. You are right. Not sure why they want to feminize the guys. Some of the wimpy sensitive boys in Korean soaps make me wanna smack them to ancient Sparta just to butch them up.

Las montañas said...

just like not all women like to dress sexy, not all men like to go to the gym and beef up/toned.

William said...

Too many labels. Too many stereotypes.