With or Without

I am quite happy to have good feedback on Kaskade because I love music and there’s nothing better than sharing them. I will write about a few other artist which I am really into, some are well known dance classic makers, while the other obscure good. I spend a few hours yesterday night going through my songs – the good stuff until 4.30 in the morning. Most people these days probably have one mp3 player or another, mine’s the iPod (2nd generation, bulky and all but still good). Should have gotten more than 20GB but I followed the wrong advise, Fei Mui said that I will never use up the capacity. Guess what? He’s wrong. To me, it’s not so much taking out for the show or for casual listening. It is the best thing since slice bread. Functionality mixes with style. My baby – I named it Comel sits on my bedside table. He follows me whenever I go traveling or holiday – be it train or flight. Best companion ever and also my right before falling asleep partner. Sometimes when I can’t sleep, it will be Comel’s job to entertain me. Really, I really can’t live without it. Speaking of what you can live with or without – a friend said a very interesting thing yesterday about relationship.

She said, it’s important to find someone you can live with, not live without. Many times we can get so engrossed with the false perception of romantic love – I will die without you, You are my everything and all those needy bullshits. Whether it’s that person you can live with or without, the question is – how do we know if he is that person? I know I that have plenty of ideas on how Mr. Perfect For Me would be. In fact, I met one candidate this year. Pity that I turned out to be Mr. Not Right For Him. It’s always the case isn’t it? Anyhow, I’ve always known and have a rough idea on how I want my man to be. We are not talking about physical attributes here. So I sound like a shallow Queen sometimes, okay most of the times and people have this very wrong perception of me being choosy and all but realistically, I am very very down to earth when it comes to the concept of relationships.

I think I even threw out the expectations for that person to be tall, to be older, to be this and that. It’s not easy because these are the little things that have become the ideal for your whole life. But as you get older, you kinda weigh out what is important and what isn’t. I have always stressed that it’s always the comfortable feeling that you get when you talk to the other person. As cliché as it sounds, you meet the right person when you can really be yourself. Of course there’s this entry whereby I was saying that I don’t think that I could ever date anyone who can’t string together a few sentence in English – I am talking about the infamous chinko chinks.

Really, when I shared that with my friends, the opinions were quite divided. While on one hand I agree with them that it doesn’t matter what language you speak as long as you can connect on the intellectual level, but on the other hand, how can you connect when you can’t even communicate at the first place? Then Cookie said something about would I have minded if that guy can’t speak a word of English but he can speak French or Italian? Well Miss Diva in me says there’s something sexy about the accent but it’s only a turn off when someone go “Wah Lau” on me. I told Cookie that he can give me the lemon and shocked face for all he cares, but I think I am racist towards my own people?!!! I really don’t know. Anyway, I don’t dig French guys and they should be avoided by arms length anyway. So I ask myself what is so wrong about being extremely Chinese then? Am I not Chinese myself? Isn’t that my roots? I am not a posh boy born into posh neighborhood and circumstances - just overexposed to Western culture. It shouldn’t be out of place for me. It’s something that I grew up with. So what have changed? I look around me and see that I am the only one in La La Land. No one is so engrossed with finding an English speaking Chinese boyfriend. In fact, no one else but me who is so pro English and giving all those Western air and shit – quote unquote my dad and cousins. What is wrong with me?

I have seen people settling for the next best thing. Perhaps one day I would, as I get older. After all choices are limited as age progresses and perhaps I will grow wiser and see things differently then. I might be able to accept shortcomings and have little to no expectations at all. That’s the thing about being young – you would think that the future is out there, there’s always time and if not today, it would be tomorrow. I don’t think I can settle for anything less (it’s already next to nothing – he just need to be abit smart, THAT’S ALL!) but I learnt one thing though if I do learn at all – that is to never say never. You never know until you try. So Mr. I Am Too Good For Everyone is going out with a chinko tonight. God. Help. Me.


Plastic fantastic - Prince Eric from the Little Mermaid