Selfish bitches die first

It's already past midweek and I know that I have been spending the past few days crying over something that isn't there, mooping through things that will never happen and unhappy with everything. I think most people will cringe over all these drama - after all, isn't Daniel the fabulous fashionista with the most covetted job like ever, climbing the corporate ladder of success one golden step at a time, one hand holding lychee martini and the other carrying Gucci tote.

Apparently thats the impression one will get from reading my blog. I must admit while there some meals soaked with alcohol and fabulous rendezvous here and there, and throw in glamour as part of the job scope - there are too few in between. Instead, I have 365 times of Ah Kau Economy Rice, don't own a fabulous pad in Bangsar and carry a Boss bag (hey don't hold that against me, it's on 50% sale. Such a vulgar four letter word, sale). I also pay my credit card bills on time. Fully. Now, thats living life on the edge.

I guess I can continue to complain about the lack of work, insufficient money and job performance, why am I not part of this and that big project, how come I don't go to fabulous places, why can't I meet Mr Right and all those bullshits but really, as tiring as it was to read, it is really tiring to write about them. While being so caught up with my own monsters, I admit that I am not listening and paying much attention to friends. Friends who confide in me - from happiness to heartbreak. I know I can be such a selfish bitch sometimes. But when I am caught in the moment, all I know and care about is me, me and me alone.

Dearest Cookie just had an accident - I have to pay attention to that girl. She drives safer than safe but seems to get into traffic scraps. According to OMGIOVECAKESCAKESCAKES, I drive like a man (smoke, drive and text at the same time) but touch wood and thank God, so far so good. Then of course there's Queen Bitch and her problems lately. Well, the only thing a gay man can do is whip out his wallet and get her a well deserving bunch of flowers for her birthday. Just to cheer her up. After all, which girl doesn't like flowers (I know I do) for their birthdays? I know she appreciates all the effort but I know, it's not same coming from me. Don't we all wished it comes from 'him'. Just to complete the goodness guise I am putting on myself, I even offered to help Upstairs' Bitch to send her resume to another agency...FYI, we are competing for the same job. After all, she did let me pinch one of her cigarette yesterday. I know, I know. I must stop. And I am. As horrible as things were, there was never a moment that I succumb to walking into a store and getting a pack. Just think cancer. Cancer. Ugly. Painful. Cancer. Cigarette. Cancer.

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Comments

Las montañas said…
oh, you'll be alright! Here's a bunch of flowers, its for cookie actually. :P
savante said…
Whoa. Stuffing the Upstairs Bitch into the trunk does seem excessive :P
Anonymous said…
Persevere slut! It's always the darkest before dawn.
Derek said…
I understand how it feels like to be so absorbed in all the negativity and forget about the ppl around you.

But that's where the catch is. When you're feeling down and want to avoid friends, it's when you SHOULD go hang out with them.

Cheers ;)
ENVY said…
Ow come on now...Are u giving us this Puppy face that Shigeki was talking about? Don't sound so sad...we are not going to give you positive energy:P and tell you how much we like you! or at least i do!...Afterall thinking about everything thats happening and not happening with you and bringing it up makes you more alive! prooves that you want better...i tend to rethink about everything im doing or am not doing...Selfish? why dont u be...well a bit of everything works..then again who am i to give ideas? ok i will shut up..promise you smile back:)

nv

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