5 Years Later...
You're still on my mind
Abit of nothing to do yesterday sees me hanging out in oh-so-boring place where all the straight boys cheer for some stupid game with their all dolled up trophy girlfriends by their side acting bored and smoking cigarettes. Nice handbags too may I add - love the Coach tote, girl. There were a few eye candies - but too far in between if you count straight red faced horny boys as sweet. Personally, I don't believe in getting them drunk and in my bed. Does it work? I am too bored to be bothered anyway. If only the night ended there and then. But luck is of course not on my side.
We had to go to a place where I have not been there for ages. It brings memory. Bad and good I suppose. Oh, I do miss Mr. C. Yes, we have not been in touch for almost two years. So, what is he doing here down memory lane? We hardly spent anytime together and it was more than 5 years ago. I bet he don't even remember me. Part of me says it was a really sweet thing that happened in a much needed time of my life and saluted him for making a break to something that we both know will do neither of us good. I wouldn't have been strong enough to see it to the end. I am still not strong. But the other part of me just laughs at my own self. It was all fun for him, wasn't it? I am just so laughable. I was the only one who lay my feelings on the table. I imagined things that wasn't there.
So why is he still there? I smoked. I coughed. It's bad. But I am still doing it.
When I was young
Met up with some high school friends over on Friday night. Of course we are worlds apart these days. I have not been in touch with anyone since I left (except Cookie) and frankly speaking, I don't give a damn. I think they felt the same as well. So it's all do you remember and you know what happened to who what shit. I can recall some of the names and some of the more notorious kids but thats that. We promised to come out again. This time, I will bring my year book. Probably they can point to me who they were talking about.
It's all seems so strange and as though coming out from a Hong Kong drama series. Who got pregnant in high school and who did who. I was of course oblivious to all that since my mind was hardly in school. I couldn't wait to get out from it. Most of them are married now. Some of them even married their high school sweetheart. Haven't these people heard that there's more to the world than just S.M. Sri XXX? Maybe it's just me. Bitter old me. I should be happy for them. These people are happy and doing what they are supposed to do. Grow up, get a job, get married and have kids. And I am not like that. Could I ever be like that? What went wrong during my childhood that made me so different?
It's scary to think that even though we all came from the same background - choices and friends that we make in the later and more crucial part of our lives can set us so far apart. Unlike them, I received no wedding invitation on a monthly basis. None of my friends are the marrying kind. In fact, we are all train wrecks when it comes to relationships. No one from work either. I think some of them are even divorced. Relationship is a hidden thing. At most, don't talk about it and let's just smoke. So it is true, whores of the same crack, crack together. I am whore. Wait. A slut. Thank you.
Abit of nothing to do yesterday sees me hanging out in oh-so-boring place where all the straight boys cheer for some stupid game with their all dolled up trophy girlfriends by their side acting bored and smoking cigarettes. Nice handbags too may I add - love the Coach tote, girl. There were a few eye candies - but too far in between if you count straight red faced horny boys as sweet. Personally, I don't believe in getting them drunk and in my bed. Does it work? I am too bored to be bothered anyway. If only the night ended there and then. But luck is of course not on my side.
We had to go to a place where I have not been there for ages. It brings memory. Bad and good I suppose. Oh, I do miss Mr. C. Yes, we have not been in touch for almost two years. So, what is he doing here down memory lane? We hardly spent anytime together and it was more than 5 years ago. I bet he don't even remember me. Part of me says it was a really sweet thing that happened in a much needed time of my life and saluted him for making a break to something that we both know will do neither of us good. I wouldn't have been strong enough to see it to the end. I am still not strong. But the other part of me just laughs at my own self. It was all fun for him, wasn't it? I am just so laughable. I was the only one who lay my feelings on the table. I imagined things that wasn't there.
So why is he still there? I smoked. I coughed. It's bad. But I am still doing it.
When I was young
Met up with some high school friends over on Friday night. Of course we are worlds apart these days. I have not been in touch with anyone since I left (except Cookie) and frankly speaking, I don't give a damn. I think they felt the same as well. So it's all do you remember and you know what happened to who what shit. I can recall some of the names and some of the more notorious kids but thats that. We promised to come out again. This time, I will bring my year book. Probably they can point to me who they were talking about.
It's all seems so strange and as though coming out from a Hong Kong drama series. Who got pregnant in high school and who did who. I was of course oblivious to all that since my mind was hardly in school. I couldn't wait to get out from it. Most of them are married now. Some of them even married their high school sweetheart. Haven't these people heard that there's more to the world than just S.M. Sri XXX? Maybe it's just me. Bitter old me. I should be happy for them. These people are happy and doing what they are supposed to do. Grow up, get a job, get married and have kids. And I am not like that. Could I ever be like that? What went wrong during my childhood that made me so different?
It's scary to think that even though we all came from the same background - choices and friends that we make in the later and more crucial part of our lives can set us so far apart. Unlike them, I received no wedding invitation on a monthly basis. None of my friends are the marrying kind. In fact, we are all train wrecks when it comes to relationships. No one from work either. I think some of them are even divorced. Relationship is a hidden thing. At most, don't talk about it and let's just smoke. So it is true, whores of the same crack, crack together. I am whore. Wait. A slut. Thank you.
Comments
guess your not the only one? ;D